Friday Funnies

Melania/Ivanka, Fetterman/McBride, Raskin/AOC

Hi Folks,

This is Kirk Bangstad, owner of the Minocqua Brewing Company, and I'm writing today to introduce you to our new weekly segment called the "Friday Funnies."

I've enlisted a crack team of funny folks to help me make light of the very dark times we're living in on Fridays, because no one wants to deal with heavy news at the end of the week.

And because defamation lawsuits follow me around like newborn puppies, I'd like to make a disclaimer that NONE of the dialogues below are remotely true. IT'S ALL COMPLETELY SATIRE:)

I hope some of these give you a chuckle. We certainly had a few while writing these "scenes."

Kirk Bangstad
Owner, Minocqua Brewing Company
Founder, Minocqua Brewing Company Super PAC

"Ivanka, we've got to start fake-smiling again and pretend to like him."

"I know, Melania. I thought we were finally free four years ago."

"Last, week I could go to Cartier and nobody cared. This week, I get the finger every time I walk out of Trump Tower."

"I know what you mean. Last week, I was able to catch up on the Upper East Side gossip at the Metropolitan Club. This week, when I tried to book a table, they told me Soros and Bloomberg had revoked my membership."

"I have an idea to get our lives back."

"What is it?"

"Let's wear these shirts when we go out."

"John, thanks for letting me use your bathroom. I swear, Nancy Mace and Mike Johnson, for all the praying they do, sure don't act very Christian."

"Sarah, you won't need to use it for long. I have a feeling you'll be invited to use the women's Congressional restroom in about a week."

"How? You heard them. They refused to let me in because I'm transgendered"

"Well I happen to know a few union plumbers from Philly, and they're working on that bathroom right now. Let's just say this issue will be quite "explosive" until they let you back in."

"Well thank you, Senator Fetterman.  I see you're making some "Good Trouble."

"Jaimie, I heard you were the one that got Gaetz to withdraw."

"Alexandria, it really wasn't me.  It was Borat and that woman who played his daughter who seduced Giuliani a few years back."

"Really?  what happened?"

"Well I asked the two of them to pull the same trick on Gaetz. They got him pretty liquored up and put this Christmas sweater on him while buck naked."

"The one that says 'Trump is a Russian Asset?'"

"Yeah, and then they took a picture of him, gave it to me, and I gave it to CNN. He withdrew the next day."

"Well that story just filled me with some Christmas joy!"