Friday Funnies
7 Insurance Exec, Bernie/Robert, AOC/Raskin
Hi Folks,
For this week's "Friday Funnies," we've enlisted a crack team of satirists to lighten things up a bit.
And as I've said before, because defamation lawsuits follow me around like ducklings to their mothers, I'd like to make a disclaimer that NONE of the dialogues below are remotely true. IT'S ALL COMPLETELY SATIRE:)
Enjoy,
Kirk Bangstad
Owner, Minocqua Brewing Company
Founder, Minocqua Brewing Company Super PAC
“Joseph, you made like 5 times more than David in 2022. Aren’t you worried you might be next?”
“I haven’t walked the streets of New York City in years, Gail. I just go from heliport to heliport. My security team assures me I’m safe. At $24M per year, you probably can’t afford the helicopter fleet yet. You’ll get there.”
“Guys, I think it’s probably wise for us to take a pay cut this next year, at least for appearances. Heliports or not, we’re the most hated people in America.”
“Easy for you to say, Karen, you made almost $40M last fiscal. I’m sitting here at just over $20M, and can barely afford my 5th house. Momma didn’t raise the Witty’s to be paupers."
“Guys, Guys…Sarah here, the poorest among us. I think we’re looking at this the wrong way. We’re all doing pretty well and the rest of the country is suffering…so much so that they’re trying to assassinate us. Maybe its time we try to live by the old adage… ‘we all do better when we all do better.”
“And that’s why you’re at $8M and all of us make way more than you do.”
“Good one Bruce.”
(in unison) “Yeah, good one, Bruce.”
"Bernie, you're never gonna guess what I just did."
"What, Robert?"
"Well, I raised a bunch of money to buy every worker in Davos that can't afford housing a tan hoody, black scarf, and and mostly-tan matching jacket."
"Isn't the World Economic Forum taking place there in a month, where all the richest people on the planet meet to figure out ways to take an even bigger share of global wealth?"
"Yes it is, Bernie, yes it is."
"Alexandria, watch what happens later on today when Hegseth meets with all the Republican Senators to convince them he's fit to be the Secretary of Defense."
"Jaimie, you rapscallion! What did you do this time?"
"I just poured a little bourbon into his coffee this morning."
"Jaimie! you know alcoholism is a disease. Once he touches that booze, it'll be hard for him to stop. He'll probably be drunk in a few hours!"
"Do you want this guy having access to the nuclear codes? I certainly don't. I'm doing this for the country."
"Vivé la Resistance!"
